It was okay. I got a friend in my fight. I told her about it, and it helped. I told her about my insecurities, I told her the things I thought i could never say to her. And still, she wanted me strongly.
I know this is going to be hard still. It’s always gonna be my fight, and as much as I want someone to win my battle because I’m too tired, I’ve been in this long enough to know the reality. It’s good to know that she doesn’t see me like that, that it’s all in my head; these are just insecurities. I’m trying to be perfect, but she just wants a human, not a god. And this overwhelming craving for a perfect me is what stressing me up.
Today, I start again. Not thinking that it’s all good this time, but that it’s life and these are just my demons, and I’ve got to forget them and love and live. I don’t have to be perfect to be the best. Someone is always the best at some place, some time for some people. I’ll always have a circle of my own, and for god’s sake, it’s just a life and not a race. Be casual and good enough, work hard for really important things, love the people who are really important, and live. Find peace of mind. Breathe.
