It’s 0205 in the afternoon and my mind is a raging fire. There are a lot of things I’m feeling. Anger, betrayal disappointment and angry over everything I’m feeling. Why do people act like the way they do? I wonder. Someone so sweet and kind in beginning can turn so cold and selfish. How? I wonder. Misunderstandings.
Just because of a misunderstanding, they won’t talk to me anymore. They will unhear everything I say, every little explanation I give. They don’t know me anymore. They used to believe everything I said, and now everything I say can’t make them believe that it’s all a misunderstanding. Misunderstandings are quite dangerous this way. Because it isn’t a misunderstanding anymore if it’s cleared out, talked about. But somehow it has this shield that protects it from the truth. There is some heavenly force that keeps the concerned person from knowing the real reason, from the truth.
And now it has happened again. Someone walked out on me. Again. Someone indifferent to me again. Abandoned, once more. I thought we were really a great bunch of friends. That we would hang out together, have fun together. Now you’ve boycotted me, it’s quite lonely out there. The places and theatres still operate, but it feels boring to go there without you all. You misunderstood me, you kicked me out of your life, consequently I’m out of my friends group because they were our friends to be honest and once again, I’m an outcast. Can’t blame it on you, but I’m sad how things turned out. I hate being an outcast but I guess that me actually. A misfit.
I still wish your opinions didn’t change. That it weren’t so easy for u to walk away. That I mattered. I wished you wanted to make it work, that our friends group couldn’t work without me. But now I’m casted out, and I see you guys still having fun everyday. That hurts the most.
Nick
