I’m ashamed of myself,
Of the way I handled it,
Of the person I became to her,
I wish I could have been better.
I’m ashamed of the person she now knows me as,
When she asked for me space, I clinged on,
She gave me signs that she’s lost interest,
But I didn’t read them,
And instead freaked out when she started changing,
I should have stopped when she dodged the questions about the guy she’s with now,
She said there was nothing going on, and I should have believed her,
I shouldn’t have figured out where she was lying,
Should have pretended to believe her,
Should have been okay with how things were changing,
I’m ashamed because when she asked me to get used to talking barely,
I should have been patient, instead I got desperate,
She’ll just remember me as a pathetic despo now,
And I’ll always be ashamed of myself.
Grey
